Trying Out Marriage

We're Just Living Together...Not Having Sex.

I have heard many young people say if a couple is planning on getting married they should live together first to “try it out”. Or, if it is better for a couple financially to live together then it is okay…if they’re not having sex. However, according to statistics no couple that sets out to live together purely for financial reasons stays true to abstinence. According to a National Sex Survey, “none of the cohabiting men or women in the survey was celibate in the last year. Sex appears to be the key part of the cohabiting deal.” Even though many try to justify that living together before marriage is not immoral, Scripture clearly eradicates that notion as it says, “there is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death” (Prov. 14:12). Don’t be naïve. We live in ‘enemy-occupied territory’ therefore, remaining pure in this world is nearly impossible. But it is possible—therefore be alert that you are not the one that entices others to fall into sin. Our Judge says, “If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come” (Matt. 18:6-8). The punishment for our actions is horrifying; therefore, let us strive to obey the Almighty King. God Will Discipline His Children Paul wrote in Hebrews 12:4-11— In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Not surprisingly, most people only want God in their lives when he brings gifts, definitely not to receive discipline. However, God says discipline is true love—it is actually how we know we are sons and how God produces righteousness in our sinful lives. Even though statistics show that over 75% of the American population call themselves Christians, most “Christians” do not live a life remotely honoring God. The fact is unbelievers watch to see if Christians live differently than everyone else. Do you? If you don’t, it gives them an excuse to deny their Savior and King. Our calling is a difficult and continual fight, but to overcome the corruption of this world, we must walk as Jesus walked—a life of purity.

Cohabitation might be common in our culture, but it is not God-honoring or biblical. Choose to wait to live together until the night of your wedding. It will not only honor the Lord and make your marriage more successful (according to statistics), but will be most fulfilling to you and your spouse! God made us male and female…there is nothing that needs “trying out.” Especially, when the covenant of marriage is for life!

1 John 2:3-6—We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.